Hello there to all my new readers! As you all know this this blog is fairly new so this is only my second post on this particular blog. I am here with another topic that absolutely concerns me. I have to start off saying that I am really getting fed up with all the stereotypes about women as it pertains to dating. I am not just going to direct this at black women, but all women. After watching shows such as "Being Mary Jane", seeing some movies like "My Favorite Five" and a host of other shows/movies I started to wonder how many of these stereotypes about women could possibly be true.
Why is that majority of the movies that portray single women mostly show them unhappy, crying, angry, hateful, revengeful, gullible, desperate, or just plain sleeping around with every man that they meet until they find someone to sweep them off their feet? I mean really is this true for us as women? I really hope not. We tend to fall into stereotypes of us because we think its cute when its not.
Now don't get me wrong, I know that we as women can be emotional, we can even get angry to the point where we want to seek revenge, but we have to start loving ourselves and loving ourselves means that we demand respect and we don't open our legs to every man that we encounter. That shouldn't be the main way that we are portrayed in the media and shouldn't be the way that we are in real life.
We shouldn't be happy being the sidechick either(although I may save that for another blog post). We have to believe that we are beautiful, we deserve to be treated with respect, we deserved to be loved. People will only treat us how we treat ourselves and we have to be honest with ourselves. Ladies, if we are hurt and not ready to be dating or even in a relationship we need to take time for ourselves. We have to allow ourselves to heal. We also have to know how to leave the past in the past and know that not every guy is the same.
I know that once you have been hurt more than once it starts to feel like every guy is the same, but when something happens repeatedly that is when it is time to look within and start examining our choices. There is something within us that attracts every person that we meet whether we want to believe it our not.
This is even true for abusive relationships, there is some insecurity that an abuser can see and that is how they attack. They know what to say, how to say it, and what do to do to lure the person in and then they try to take control.
My intention with this post is not to bash, but to uplift. From one woman to another, I definitely understand the hurt and the pain that relationships or just the trials of life can leave, but we have to heal. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. You do not have to have sex in order for someone to like or love you, you do not have to dress a certain way to get someones attention, you don't have to change who you are on the inside because the right person will appreciate you, respect you, embrace you, and love you for you. It's time for you/us to heal!
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